Pity the sea turtle, for it has been cursed with a surplus of big dick energy. It’s not unusual for green turtles to have 12-inch penises, and no less an authority than Scientific American once described the creatures as “horrifically well endowed.” Why is this not a blessing? Well, for one thing, wherever there’s an oversized phallic animal part you can be sure someone, somewhere, will decide to lop it off and sell it as a miracle cure to “make you strong.” Just look what happens to rhino horns.
Sure enough, in the Dominican Republic, there was a time when sea turtle penis was seen as a valuable ingredient in the country’s unique national drink, mamajuana. Also known as “The Baby Maker” or “El Para Palo” (translation: “Stand the Stick”), the tonic’s supposed aphrodisiac qualities made it a favourite of the legendary 1950s Dominican playboy Porfirio Rubirosa—a man who, according to Truman Capote, had at least one thing in common with the sea turtles.
The Collected Works of Kevin EG Perry 